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Saturday, March 30, 2013

Drink > Drank > Drunk
This was what happened yesterday night
Went for the ladies night
I only had 2-3 glasses and started to feel drowsy
Maybe I've already reached my limit
When I'm perfectly normal, not even a single guy approach me
Funny right
At least I'm still conscious
I knew what's happening around me
Vomited a lot that night
Yes, you will feel high at that moment
But the after-effect is horrible
Especially if you had hangover the next morning
Luckily I recovered quite fast
Anyway, I won't regret drinking
If I have the chance, I will still go
Juz that I'll need self-control

The urge to change to a new environment is getting stronger everyday
My only close colleague aka my lunch kaki is leaving when her contract expires
Which means I'm back to how it was when I first joined
No, I'm not leaving because everyone is leaving
Just like I really need a job to gain better exp
For a better future
Humans are weird
The grass is always greener on the other side
We keep looking for the better job which we 'assume'
Ended up not satisfied then began to search for the next one
So what is considered to be the best job?
The best answer is don't work
Haha
I'll just slowly look through the job sites first. :)

 Come to think of it
Maybe I should take a step backward
That may be an attraction at first
But definitely not going to last for a lifetime
I finally know why God has given me 2 different and extreme type of guys
He wants me to experience it myself to see what I really want
I will have an answer soon

Blogged @ 12:29 AM
Don't let me go -

Saturday, March 23, 2013

First week being back to "normal" life
I'm trying to adjust back to my life more than 1 month ago
This is the consequence of falling in too deep
Can't blame anybody
At least I didn't regret what I've done
That is the best I can do already
Only fate can decide my future now
I don't wish to give B any false hope too
Just that I need some time to rest
At the same time, slowly get to know each other more
Maybe he's really the one for me
Or he may not be
At least I'm not like someone else
忽冷忽热
I'm not going to play the waiting game anymore
Comparing to my cousin's situation,
I'm really much more fortunate
They didn't understand each other well enough and somehow got married and had a kid
Problems start to arise and this is due to the lack of understanding and communication
For me, I still have a choice
I mean don't ever determine the guy before you is definitely the one you will get married with
Unless you really understand this person inside out and feel comfortable with
I will definitely find that someone...

Blogged @ 12:07 AM
Don't let me go -

Monday, March 18, 2013

I'm giving up
I've decided to move on
勉强没有幸福
Though he didn't say anything,
I have a strong feeling that he's drifting away, little by little
Alright, I'm back to square one
It may a good thing, who knows
Maybe in the future when I'm thinking back, I will be glad we were not together
In fact, we do not match at all
In terms of character, education, beliefs etc
Maybe God is helping me to make a decision
Between the 2 men
Now I don't need to worry about betraying any of them
It's not the end of the world anyway
It takes time, but I'll try...

Blogged @ 7:39 PM
Don't let me go -

Friday, March 15, 2013

I'm trying very hard not to fall deeper
But it's becoming uncontrollable
There is 1 thing I must understand
Even if you love someone that much, he may not be the right one for you
Because he doesn't love you as much as you do
Or maybe I just don't understand what he's thinking
But when there's this person who loves you more than you do
You feel more secured in this relationship
In other words, "To love or to be loved?"
It's so difficult to find perfection in a relationship
I feel so uncertain, unsecured right now
I'm afraid to be hurt, yet I'm getting closer
Either way, I feel bad for the other party
When A is being nice to me, I'm falling deeper each time
Yet I'm too scared to love
When B is being nice to me, I'm feeling bad each time
Why is God putting me in such a situation
I don't know what should I do

Blogged @ 9:16 PM
Don't let me go -

Saturday, March 09, 2013

Fate really changes our lives
When it comes to a point where u thought things won't change anymore
Miracles happen
I somehow spoke up, or u can also say "confessed"
Yes, doesn't sound like me. Haha
Because I don't want to be in a situation where u don't know what is the person's intention
I felt uneasy
This is the 1st time I can't sense it
Is he trying to be frenz with me?
Or is he trying to woo me?
This is the 1st time I did that
And we met up for the 1st time
1st impression was good
It was a quite comfortable feeling
But everything can't be 100% perfect
There's still some factors to consider
Is he going to be a boyfriend or a husband type?
Time will explain everything

 I've achieved 1 of my goals! (If u have noticed my wishlist on the right)
I signed up for the 1st credit card in my life
And it was approved within 2 days
Haha. So happy
But it can be a bad thing as well
You will tend to spend more and thus, you know the consequences right?

 I'm also in the midst of achieving another goal of mine
Which is to obtain a driving license
I regretted didn't obtain it when I was 18
Recently I just thought I should just take
I can take my own time to complete since BTT cert lasts for a lifetime
Who knows, maybe it may be useful in the future

Blogged @ 9:12 PM
Don't let me go -

Friday, March 01, 2013

There's only 4 words I can say,
有缘无份
Though I didn't hear from his own mouth,
but since it's a fact already
There's nothing I can do
If he didn't make the move,
I can't be so thick skinned to make the move myself too
I'm definitely not that kind of person
So just let nature takes its own course
Like what I've said before
If its meant to be yours, it will be yours no matter what

 And coincidentally, another person just popped up
But I don't know if he's the one for me
Need more time to understand each other first
The most important thing is that we feel comfortable with each other
Just when I wanted to give myself a chance to move forward,
I knew about this
If that's the case, I wished I never knew it

Blogged @ 11:28 PM
Don't let me go -